The Last First Post

There is a lot of pressure on bloggers. I am a former blogger turned scared away quitter, blog stalker, want to be blogger again. In my previous blogging life, I had built a readership. My site was professionally designed and I had followers that enjoyed what I had to say about my life as a young college student trying to live a healthy life. But at the young age of 22, I let the negative voices of a small few rip me apart. I learned a lot of things the hard way during that time in my life and one of my biggest frustrations to this day is that I let the years of hard work and all the words from that season of life disappear into the internet void forever.

Fast forward and I am 26. I have moved to three new cities in the past 4 years, had heart breaks and disappointments, grand adventures and friendships, and have found and married the man of my dreams. Despite the successes of the last few years, I have one goal that I have yet to truly take action on.  Every year, every month, nearly every day since I "quit" I have wanted to blog again. But what to say.

I follow so many blogs that I really enjoy yet when it comes to my own voice, one I have found before and know exists, I am at a loss. Will I sound too serious? Too corny? Will I be funny? Will I run out of words or do people even care what I have to say? I have had a thousand ideas, maybe more. I've registered more domain names than I care to admit and announced my new endeavors countless times, but in the last three years I have produced nothing save for a handful of "first blog posts", mostly out of fear of failure.

But lately, I go to bed each night feeling as though I have wasted another day I could have been closer to reaching my goals and fulfilling my dreams. I sit and stew with frustration that I have yet to take action and another day that could have been put to good use is gone. But I cannot wait another single minute. My patience with myself has worn thin and I will no longer tolerate the longing without action to do something that can so easily be done with a bit of hard work and determination.

There is great pressure to feel as though I need to have a direction and immediate action plan, or that the entire vision of this space needs to be predicted and planned out in great detail. I think ultimately when blogging is to be a business, that is true and something that is yet to come, but the time to start sharing is now! "Experts" may tell me I am wrong here, but I say what better time than this very moment to embark on a journey I have been aching for for years. I have followed so many people who have beautiful blogs and I've watched them develop and evolve over time into the beautiful works they are now. This is the beginning of mine; no more waiting and watching. I insist on being a part.